I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
