some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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