what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The struggles of a small town man whore
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
