She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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