Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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