ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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