Capitaan dildo arrescate!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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