I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so explain again why im purple
no
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
