We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
