**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
