Nicole vs. Life
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!