I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
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i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
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Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house