Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm like, not good at living.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
