I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
