I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
