Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
