Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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