Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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