You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
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Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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