we made out on top of his cat.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
