He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
