who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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