dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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