Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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