I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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