And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Mom said you looked used
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
