she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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