Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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