Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize