Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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