is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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