OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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