Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
being pregnant is like rehab
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
