I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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