I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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