i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think pants incapable of making pants work
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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