Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
