what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
