I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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