Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
