Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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