i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
