He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
