I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
