dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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