There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
pop tarts are not kleenex
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize