It's Friday. Sex?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
