I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
