so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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