I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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