I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
