there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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