Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
