ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
