Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
