so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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