if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
How many fucks given?
0.12846
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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