Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
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JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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