a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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