i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
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You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
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I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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