my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
