and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
