sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
