I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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