He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
