i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
