Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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